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Are your kids driving you crazy??

Fleur Dash • 5 February 2021

Coping with the lockdown homeschooling HELL!

Are your kids driving you CRAZY????

What a year! Bouncing between lockdowns and homeschooling HELL!

This lockdown has been particularly tough, February blues, hideous weather and the never ending dark evenings.

Do you find yourself snapping at your children? Feeling at the end of your tether? Overwhelmed by the simplest of things going wrong?

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!

You love and adore your family. Of course you do. But constantly having to pull them off of screens, make them do school work, fight off their protests and fits of rage is just getting TOO MUCH, let alone dealing with your normal commitments of work AND having to cook and clean!

No wonder we all feel we are going to EXPLODE.

It really helps to understand what is going on in the brain during these super stressful moments.

When we feel anxious, overwhelmed and snappy, it is a sure sign that we have moved from our reliable, sensible part of the brain, into the automatic, reactive primitive part of the brain. This part is ruled by the amygdala, and is often referred to as the flight, flight, freeze “chimp” part of the brain. When we operate from this part of the brain, we are feeling the need to defend ourselves from danger or a threat. We will always respond with anxiety (get ready to run), depression (hunker down and hide) or anger (increase strength to fight).

So rationally, we know that the children are not really a threat, (even when armed with nerf guns) but the situation, or rather the way we are seeing the situation, is making us feel that we are under attack. Focusing on all the things going wrong will stop us from seeing all the things that are going right.



Taking some time to reconnect with your family in a positive way enables us to see the world from a different light. Positive interaction increases our flow of the happy serotonin chemical, and pulls us away from our primitive brains, and back into thinking rationally. 


Spending a moment thinking about what makes that person so special is another way to switch us back into our right minds. Positive thought is so powerful, thinking about something great makes the world seem a different place instantly.


Doing something positive is another way to get the magic juices flowing. I like to keep a gratitude journal so I can see all the positives in front of me. This simple act of writing down a few happy notes makes me focus on the best bits of my life.


Getting out of the vicious cycle of negative thinking is what solution focused hypnotherapy is all about. Book a FREE initial consultation to see how I can help you feel yourself again.


by Fleur Dash 16 December 2024
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by Fleur Dash 26 August 2024
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by Fleur Dash 18 June 2024
Smiling is not something we learn to do, it comes completely naturally as it is a behaviour passed down through our evolution. It is thought to have originated over 30 million years ago and was used by apes and monkeys as a way of showing potential predators they were harmless. The smile we know today is the universal sign of happiness. It is one of the first expressions made by babies innately. . The baby is usually rewarded for this smile with mirroring smiles, love and attention. The behaviour becomes reinforced with feelings of pleasure and safety. This is true of all babies regardless of culture and environment, as Paul Ekman (the world’s leading expert on facial expressions) discovered; smiling is a basic and biological uniform human expression. Charles Darwin, who in addition to theorising on evolution in The Origin of the Species , also developed the Facial Feedback Response Theory, which suggests that the act of smiling actually makes us feel better (rather than smiling being a result of feeling good). When our brains feel happy we produce neurotransmitters that make us feel good. Dopamine, serotonin and endorphins are released transmitting neural signals to your facial muscles to trigger a smile. The release of serotonin with a smile is nature's own anti-depressant. It helps give our mood a lift in the same way the prescribed medication works by increasing the level of serotonin in the brain. Smiling stimulates our brain's reward mechanisms in a way that even chocolate can’t match. British researchers found that one smile can provide the same level of brain stimulation as up to 2,000 chocolate bars and can be as stimulating as receiving up to £16,000. The smile can be thought of as an “anchor”, it is a feeling that has been anchored to a particular group of muscles that is triggered when we use them. I’m sure you have put a smile on your face to help you to enter a room or when meeting someone new. This is because you get the same benefits when you actually force yourself to smile as you do when you smile naturally, this feeling encourages us when we need a boost. We create anchors unconsciously all the time when we assign meaning to a particular sensation, such as when a song always reminds you of a certain memory or person. Anchors are a very useful tool I use with my clients as we can learn to connect other feelings to other triggers on the body. By thinking about a calm time using all of our senses, we create a strong emotional link to that feeling of calm . Doing this while squeezing our fingers or holding our wrists literally makes a physical connection to that emotion. Repeating this over and over makes a new neural path in the brain, thus making a new anchor. The brain can only focus on a handful of items of information at any time (around 7), so while it is concentrating and recalling calm , it is unable to connect with any other input such as stress or worry. This is a brilliant way to train the brain into being in your control, thinking of happy thoughts and letting go of everything else.
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