Love my mind's Thoughts, Tips and advice for well being.

Are you struggling to sleep? Find out why, and how you can find solutions to sleep being your friend again. 10 Top tips for glorious sleep. Bed, what a heavenly place! But really should only be entered when tired. It should be a no screens area, a sanctuary for us when we are ready to sleep or read. We shouldn’t hang out in bed watching programs or checking social media as “blue screens” really affect how our brains work, and do not make us feel restful and relaxed, but alert and active. Be reassured by having an alarm set if you need one, so you don’t need to check the time during the night. Having an air vent or window open, fresh air and a cooler temperature will improve your sleep quality. If your head starts to swirl with thoughts, jot them on a piece of paper, knowing you can deal with them tomorrow. I like to go to sleep after writing down tomorrows to-do list, what I have achieved today, and writing down anything I feel grateful for. This routine gets my head in a happy but empty place ready for oblivion. Give yourself between 6 and 9 hours to sleep, adults all need around this amount to function. Any more or less can really start to alter how we feel in our daily lives. It is also important to try and wake up at the same time every day. While it may seem like a good idea to try to catch up on sleep after a bad night, doing so on a regular basis can also disrupt your sleep routine. It is better to take small cat naps of 20 mins during the day, if your sleep is disturbed and you feel exhausted. If you wake in the night and can’t go back to sleep, get up, make a drink, read a book. Don’t lie there worrying about not sleeping. Insomnia can become quite obsessive. As we lie there panicking about missing sleep, we are adding to the problem and creating more stress. It is always better to distract your head with a different activity (that doesn’t have a screen) and allow ourselves to become sleepy again. We sleep in cycles during the night, experiencing rest sleep and dream (REM) sleep. Some of the sleep we have is deep, and some is more shallow. It isn’t a disaster if we wake up and go back to sleep as the quality of sleep is varied anyway. Dream sleep is important for our brains, as we use REM sleep to process the actions of our day. It is when we decide what has been important to store in our libraries, and what we can throw away. If we have too much going on in our lives we have too much to process in one night. Our brains feel overloaded and can wake us (usually around 4am for me!). This is a sign that we have too much stress in our lives, and need to find ways to reduce our anxieties. Our bodies can feel encouraged to sleep too much to empty our stress using dreams, but this will leave us feeling exhausted, and wanting to sleep even more. This is why it is important to stick to 7-9 hours of sleep a night. If your head is full of noise at bedtime, try listening to a calming meditation, or some tranquil sounds like rain or the ocean. Choosing what we think about is an important factor of how stressful our lives can become. Making a choice not to dwell on the thoughts that are still churning round is a great way to train our brains to be quieter. Choosing our thoughts is empowering and a deeply effective way of improving our mental well being.

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Smiling is not something we learn to do, it comes completely naturally as it is a behaviour passed down through our evolution. It is thought to have originated over 30 million years ago and was used by apes and monkeys as a way of showing potential predators they were harmless. The smile we know today is the universal sign of happiness. It is one of the first expressions made by babies innately. . The baby is usually rewarded for this smile with mirroring smiles, love and attention. The behaviour becomes reinforced with feelings of pleasure and safety. This is true of all babies regardless of culture and environment, as Paul Ekman (the world’s leading expert on facial expressions) discovered; smiling is a basic and biological uniform human expression. Charles Darwin, who in addition to theorising on evolution in The Origin of the Species , also developed the Facial Feedback Response Theory, which suggests that the act of smiling actually makes us feel better (rather than smiling being a result of feeling good). When our brains feel happy we produce neurotransmitters that make us feel good. Dopamine, serotonin and endorphins are released transmitting neural signals to your facial muscles to trigger a smile. The release of serotonin with a smile is nature's own anti-depressant. It helps give our mood a lift in the same way the prescribed medication works by increasing the level of serotonin in the brain. Smiling stimulates our brain's reward mechanisms in a way that even chocolate can’t match. British researchers found that one smile can provide the same level of brain stimulation as up to 2,000 chocolate bars and can be as stimulating as receiving up to £16,000. The smile can be thought of as an “anchor”, it is a feeling that has been anchored to a particular group of muscles that is triggered when we use them. I’m sure you have put a smile on your face to help you to enter a room or when meeting someone new. This is because you get the same benefits when you actually force yourself to smile as you do when you smile naturally, this feeling encourages us when we need a boost. We create anchors unconsciously all the time when we assign meaning to a particular sensation, such as when a song always reminds you of a certain memory or person. Anchors are a very useful tool I use with my clients as we can learn to connect other feelings to other triggers on the body. By thinking about a calm time using all of our senses, we create a strong emotional link to that feeling of calm . Doing this while squeezing our fingers or holding our wrists literally makes a physical connection to that emotion. Repeating this over and over makes a new neural path in the brain, thus making a new anchor. The brain can only focus on a handful of items of information at any time (around 7), so while it is concentrating and recalling calm , it is unable to connect with any other input such as stress or worry. This is a brilliant way to train the brain into being in your control, thinking of happy thoughts and letting go of everything else.

Even the best couples can have tricky moments. Life can throw challenges, misunderstandings can occur, emotions might misalign - leaving even the most perfect relationships feeling unnurtured at times. We can get stuck in a rut, feel unheard, unappreciated and ultimately lonely in our own love stories. It is so important to make time to cherish our partners, remember what it is we love about each other, and why they are our chosen person.This is why when my husband and I went on a trip, I decided it would be an even better experience for us both if we went with fully-charged love batteries! We created this lovely affection workout to ensure our glow was turned up to maximum.This simple sweet-talking exercise is an amazing way of reconnecting, rekindling and allowing the love to shine through! The idea is to take it in turns to think of something you really admire about the other person. It is important that these are compliments and reflections on THEM, not on how they make YOU feel. For example, “I love it when you make me a cup of tea in bed” is actually about YOU, whereas “you are so considerate” is about THEM. Emphasising and accentuating another’s pleasing qualities makes it a deeper and more rewarding sentiment. It is so wonderful to search through memories that created that love connection, and recall them together as you examine what it is about your partner that you actually fell in love with, and even better to have your qualities noticed and reiterated. The act of thinking about nice things to say about your loved ones pulls affection and tenderness into the forefront of your mind. This sparks oxytocin- THE LOVE CHEMICAL. Listening to genuinely felt compliments about ourselves helps us to regain a positive perspective on our own personalities, allowing the flow of serotonin- THE HAPPINESS CHEMICAL. When these glorious chemicals are cascading we feel AMAZING! Connected, celebrated and full of love. Mission complete, your battery fully charged.

Ah, Christmas! The season of joy, twinkling lights, and hearty laughter echoing through the chilly winter air. Or does the idea of Chrismas fill you with dread! This can be the most anxious time for so many of us! Tips for surviving the Christmas period (Thanks to the Circle health group for putting it so well :) 1. Keep your expectations modest Don't get hung up on what the Christmas holidays are supposed to be like and how you're supposed to feel. If you're comparing your festivities to some perfect greeting card ideal, they'll always come up short. Don't worry about festive spirit and simply take every day as it comes. 2. Do something different This year, does the prospect of the usual routine fill you with Christmas dread rather than joy? If so, don't surrender to it. Try something different. Have dinner at a restaurant on Christmas Day. Spend Boxing Day at the cinema or get your family to agree to donate the money to a charity instead of exchanging presents. 3. Lean on your support system If you've been feeling stressed, anxious or depressed, you need a network of close friends and family to turn to when things get tough. During Christmas, take time to get together with your support network regularly – or at least keep in touch by phone to keep yourself centred. 4. Don't assume the worst Don't start the Christmas season anticipating disaster. If you try to take the festivities as they come and limit your expectations – both good and bad – you may enjoy them more. 5. Forget the unimportant stuff Don't run yourself ragged just to live up to Christmas traditions. So what if you don't get the lights on the roof this year? So what if you don't get the special Christmas mugs down from the loft? Give yourself a break. Worrying about such trivial stuff will not add to your festive spirit 6. Volunteer You may feel stressed and booked up already, but maybe consider taking time to help people who have less than you. Try volunteering at a soup kitchen or helping someone to do their shopping. We always feel better when we have helped someone and made a difference, however small. You really have more control than you think. If certain things are guaranteed to stress you out, avoid them 7. Avoid problems Think about what people or situations trigger your stress and figure out ways to avoid them. If seeing your uncle stresses you out, skip his New Year's party and just stop by for a quick hello on New Year's Day. Instead of staying in your bleak, childhood bedroom at your stepfather's house, book into a nearby hotel. You really have more control than you think. 8. Ask for help - but be specific See if your spouse will dig out the decorations. Ask a family member to help you cook - or host the Christmas dinner itself. Invite a friend along on shopping trips. People are often more willing to help out than you expect; they just need some guidance from you on what to do. 9. Don't worry about things beyond your control OK, perhaps your uncle and your dad get into an argument at every Christmas dinner and it makes you miserable. What can you really do about it? Remember your limits: you can't control them, but you can control your own reaction to the situation. 10. Make new family traditions People often feel compelled to keep family Christmas traditions alive long past the point that anyone's actually enjoying them. Don't keep them going for their own sake. Start a new tradition instead. Create one that's more meaningful to you personally. 11. Find positive ways to remember loved ones Christmas may remind you of the loved ones who aren't around anymore. Instead of just feeling glum, do something active to celebrate their memory. For instance, go out with your sisters to your mum's favourite restaurant and make a toast. The festive season can last for weeks and weeks. People really need to pace themselves or they'll get overwhelmed. Don't say yes to every invitation.

The easy way to build resilience To help our well being, we know we need to sleep, eat healthily, exercise, and maybe meditate, and these habits are certainly useful in building happiness, feeling calm and being able to cope with the demands of our busy lives. But there’s another way we can create strength and resilience that’s often overlooked and that is to boost our creativity. Creativity unlocks our internal resources for dealing with stress, solving problems, and enjoying life. When we are creative, we are being resourceful, and we are able to problem solve in new and original ways. Being creative is something we can do, but is also an attitude we can cultivate. It can develop from being a habit into a way of life with practice, and studies into resilient people have identified creativity as a key behavior trait. Creativity is a habit that needs to be developed, and can make many people feel fearful because they don’t think they are good at art. The fear comes from trying anything that is different, as our brains like routine and will protest when pushed out of our comfort zone. It is worth giving a go though, as the creative process enables us to see problems with new perspectives and see situations in a different light. Creative thinking allows us to make connections between things, gain new perspectives, and find innovative ways to deal with anything. Creativity is good for your brain because it stimulates alpha waves, the signals in the brain that closely correspond with feeling relaxed. Scientists have discovered that when people are calm, they’re much more likely to have a “light bulb” moment, and impossible problems can somehow seem to solve themselves. This is why when you’re going around and around a problem, the best thing to do is go for a walk, grab a shower, or make dinner as these activities produce alpha waves in your brain. Studies show that activities such as drawing, sculpting crocheting and writing in a journal actually raise our serotonin levels and decrease our anxiety hormones. Creativity helps to build our resilience, helping us to deal with problems in a way that makes us able to deal with them with ease next time. We can build our creative thinking by asking questions, being curious and by experimenting. Allowing ourselves to make mistakes, congratulating ourselves for trying and speaking kindly to ourselves internally means we are more likely to try more things, and trying means there is a high chance of succeeding. If you follow your curiosity, experiment with ideas, and learn from your mistakes, the quality of your creativity will constantly improve. Human beings need to express themselves, it is a part of who we are. For your emotional wellbeing, nourish your creative spirit, give it a go!  🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

Why is laughing the best medicine? A good laugh is always a winner isn’t it? Giggling, having a chuckle, the side splitter, hooting, guffawing and the delicate titter. These are all good ways to brighten a day. But did you know that along with it feeling wonderful it is also healing your mind, body and soul? Laughter has been shown to reduce the levels of certain stress hormones in the body. We need a variety of chemicals to help us cope with tricky situations, but these stress signals in high levels can create an imbalance leaving us feeling anxious, angry and depressed. These stress hormones also can have a harmful effect on the immune system. When we laugh, we increase the number of beneficial hormones like endorphins, which and neurotransmitters in the body, lessening the presence and production of adrenaline and cortisol. Endorphins work as a natural painkiller, so laughing helps to boost our pain threshold, easing mood, tension, anger and discomfort. Laughing increases neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine, helping your brain to function faster, connect and comprehend situations or problems at a speedier rate. Laughter also boosts our immune systems, stimulating antibody cells to develop at faster rates by changing the body’s chemistry through hormonal shifts. These antibodies help us to fight off illness and infection easier. Studies have shown that “mirthful laughter” causes an initial increase in arterial blood pressure which is followed by a decrease to below the normal resting blood pressure. This improves blood pressure levels, decreases the risk of heart disease, cardiac issues and improves circulation. The act of laughing physically creates a boost of oxygen to the brain, promoting brain health and encourages a higher level of ventilation in your lungs. Laughter is also a brilliant way of doing exercise; it engages muscles in the body’s diaphragm and abdominal as it expands and contracts and can often leave us with that side splitting feeling after a long hoot. Depending on your laughing style and how physically you throw yourself into it, you can stimulate your legs, back, shoulders, and arm muscles too. Cheeks, jaw and neck muscles are all put through their paces as we cackle and howl. Laughter can also boost memory as it speeds the connections between the neurons, enabling learning and brain function. Combining humour with recall helps to create more links in the brain as they have more direct association and emphasis. Laughter can help our brains to be more creative due to the lowered stress hormones and increased endorphins. We are more likely to take creative risks, think outside of the box when feeling more positive and laughter is the best way to boost our mood. Laughter has been found to have a soothing quality that reduces even unconscious pain, causing an improvement in mood and happiness. It is also really contagious, seeing someone else having a chuckle encourages us to join in, creating connections between people, helping us to build relationships and deepen rapport. I love using laughter in my practice room. When we are laughing, we are no longer able to feel sadness or pain. Book a free DISCOVERY CALL to try this out for yourself! I will encourage you to: 🌈Allow yourself to concentrate on all the best parts of yourself. 🌈Think about all you have achieved 🌈Believe in your abilities 🌈Trust in yourself You are the expert in being you! In my sessions we like to have a bit of a giggle as we explore these wonderful qualities that make up all of us as individuals. Find your own answers and give yourself the gift of health and happiness. www.lovemymind.co.uk