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Why do we get Depressed and How can we Feel Better?

Fleur Dash • 11 December 2019

Changing our patterns

Depression originates from the primitive part of our brain we know as the “fight, flight and freeze” part. This area hasn't evolved much since our days of living in caves and is there for our protection. When the cave man or woman looked out and saw snow, ice and danger they would crawl back inside, pull their rug over their head and go back to sleep until the crisis had passed. This is also how we can feel now when we feel under threat, like it is safer to hide away and go back to sleep.


Depression can make us feel sluggish, unmotivated, exhausted and is all encompassing. Our brains can encourage us to sleep more, often all day, but never feel rested creating a vicious circle. This is because the dream sleep we have is very mentally draining. REM sleep is when our conscious and subconscious come together to sort and process our thoughts. It is how we daily empty with our stress buckets and stay on top of things. Unfortunately, too much of it will leave us feeling worse and in a deep hole of despair. When we feel under threat in our lives, we are encouraged to think negatively. This is a way of protecting ourselves against potential dangers. Seeing as our primitive brain doesn't know the difference between reality and imaginary, if we think and speak negatively, our brains think that is the actual reality, and will step in to help us using depression, anxiety and anger. Bless it! Thank you brain!

We can change our thought and sleep patterns using gentle trance and solution focused psychotherapy techniques to help us concentrate on how we want our lives to be, not how we don’t want them to be. Concentrating on the positive side of our lives allows a constant flow of happy hormones that we need to be able to cope with life. Getting away from the vicious circle created by the primitive brain allows the intellectual brain to take control and make little steps towards our chosen realities.

by Fleur Dash 16 December 2024
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by Fleur Dash 18 June 2024
Smiling is not something we learn to do, it comes completely naturally as it is a behaviour passed down through our evolution. It is thought to have originated over 30 million years ago and was used by apes and monkeys as a way of showing potential predators they were harmless. The smile we know today is the universal sign of happiness. It is one of the first expressions made by babies innately. . The baby is usually rewarded for this smile with mirroring smiles, love and attention. The behaviour becomes reinforced with feelings of pleasure and safety. This is true of all babies regardless of culture and environment, as Paul Ekman (the world’s leading expert on facial expressions) discovered; smiling is a basic and biological uniform human expression. Charles Darwin, who in addition to theorising on evolution in The Origin of the Species , also developed the Facial Feedback Response Theory, which suggests that the act of smiling actually makes us feel better (rather than smiling being a result of feeling good). When our brains feel happy we produce neurotransmitters that make us feel good. Dopamine, serotonin and endorphins are released transmitting neural signals to your facial muscles to trigger a smile. The release of serotonin with a smile is nature's own anti-depressant. It helps give our mood a lift in the same way the prescribed medication works by increasing the level of serotonin in the brain. Smiling stimulates our brain's reward mechanisms in a way that even chocolate can’t match. British researchers found that one smile can provide the same level of brain stimulation as up to 2,000 chocolate bars and can be as stimulating as receiving up to £16,000. The smile can be thought of as an “anchor”, it is a feeling that has been anchored to a particular group of muscles that is triggered when we use them. I’m sure you have put a smile on your face to help you to enter a room or when meeting someone new. This is because you get the same benefits when you actually force yourself to smile as you do when you smile naturally, this feeling encourages us when we need a boost. We create anchors unconsciously all the time when we assign meaning to a particular sensation, such as when a song always reminds you of a certain memory or person. Anchors are a very useful tool I use with my clients as we can learn to connect other feelings to other triggers on the body. By thinking about a calm time using all of our senses, we create a strong emotional link to that feeling of calm . Doing this while squeezing our fingers or holding our wrists literally makes a physical connection to that emotion. Repeating this over and over makes a new neural path in the brain, thus making a new anchor. The brain can only focus on a handful of items of information at any time (around 7), so while it is concentrating and recalling calm , it is unable to connect with any other input such as stress or worry. This is a brilliant way to train the brain into being in your control, thinking of happy thoughts and letting go of everything else.
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