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Simple random acts of kindness

Fleur Dash • 5 October 2021

How can you make someone happy today?

Such a lovely thing happened to me the other day, and I'm still glowing from it. 

I was driving my van through my local village, my mind full of the day ahead, the jobs, the chores, wishing the traffic would hurry up and the rain would stop. Feeling slightly hassled, I stopped at a roundabout to let out a different van. Completely contrasting my frown, the driver’s face was all teeth and crinkly smiles, it was immediately contagious. It was like the sun had started to shine.

My face blooming, I continued up the hill. 

Our two vans met again, and we ended up queuing next to each other at the next set of traffic lights. 

He smiled again, opened his window, and indicated for me to do the same. Wondering what I was letting myself in for, (maybe the man was insane? Was my dress hanging out of the door, or my bumper hanging off?) I slowly opened the window... 

He beamed at me, smiled even wider and cheerfully exclaimed that a pink haired lady driving a big black van had made his day! He declared that he wished me a happy life, full of flowers (my van has more than a few hanging from the mirror). He announced that we should grab every happy connection we can in our daily lives, blew me a kiss, and was on his way. 

This simple random exchange made me feel special, interesting, unique and valid. 

It was a wonderful example of how when we are full of positivity, we can share and spread love with ease, just by reaching out to the nearest person. 

We all are guilty of living our lives in our own closed off bubbles. We forget to look, notice and comment. Learning to be open to our environment, see what's around us means that our world’s become bigger, fuller, greater.

Connecting, communicating and complimenting is so easy to do. 

See someone and say something nice.

Everyone feels lovely.

Looking for opportunities to connect with others means that we always have a positive intention in the forefront of our minds. Serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin are encouraged to race through our brains making us feel wonderful and happy. Searching for ways to do simple acts of kindness creates a happy mindset, and the more we do it, the easier and more natural it becomes.

Give it a go!! What have you got to lose?

Fleur

xxx

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈


by Fleur Dash 16 December 2024
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by Fleur Dash 26 August 2024
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by Fleur Dash 18 June 2024
Smiling is not something we learn to do, it comes completely naturally as it is a behaviour passed down through our evolution. It is thought to have originated over 30 million years ago and was used by apes and monkeys as a way of showing potential predators they were harmless. The smile we know today is the universal sign of happiness. It is one of the first expressions made by babies innately. . The baby is usually rewarded for this smile with mirroring smiles, love and attention. The behaviour becomes reinforced with feelings of pleasure and safety. This is true of all babies regardless of culture and environment, as Paul Ekman (the world’s leading expert on facial expressions) discovered; smiling is a basic and biological uniform human expression. Charles Darwin, who in addition to theorising on evolution in The Origin of the Species , also developed the Facial Feedback Response Theory, which suggests that the act of smiling actually makes us feel better (rather than smiling being a result of feeling good). When our brains feel happy we produce neurotransmitters that make us feel good. Dopamine, serotonin and endorphins are released transmitting neural signals to your facial muscles to trigger a smile. The release of serotonin with a smile is nature's own anti-depressant. It helps give our mood a lift in the same way the prescribed medication works by increasing the level of serotonin in the brain. Smiling stimulates our brain's reward mechanisms in a way that even chocolate can’t match. British researchers found that one smile can provide the same level of brain stimulation as up to 2,000 chocolate bars and can be as stimulating as receiving up to £16,000. The smile can be thought of as an “anchor”, it is a feeling that has been anchored to a particular group of muscles that is triggered when we use them. I’m sure you have put a smile on your face to help you to enter a room or when meeting someone new. This is because you get the same benefits when you actually force yourself to smile as you do when you smile naturally, this feeling encourages us when we need a boost. We create anchors unconsciously all the time when we assign meaning to a particular sensation, such as when a song always reminds you of a certain memory or person. Anchors are a very useful tool I use with my clients as we can learn to connect other feelings to other triggers on the body. By thinking about a calm time using all of our senses, we create a strong emotional link to that feeling of calm . Doing this while squeezing our fingers or holding our wrists literally makes a physical connection to that emotion. Repeating this over and over makes a new neural path in the brain, thus making a new anchor. The brain can only focus on a handful of items of information at any time (around 7), so while it is concentrating and recalling calm , it is unable to connect with any other input such as stress or worry. This is a brilliant way to train the brain into being in your control, thinking of happy thoughts and letting go of everything else.
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