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Am I good enough?

Fleur Dash • 27 May 2021

For those of us who need to know they are good enough.



Don’t you feel sometimes you just need a little reminder that you are doing alright? That all the effort is actually worth it? That you are a good person, valid and significant? Do you sometimes have an annoying voice that creeps in making you think that no matter what, you will never be good enough?

I hate that voice! I fight with that voice! So many of us have to battle this voice on a daily basis, and if this sounds familiar to you, then I want to say, you are doing FANTASTICALLY!!! Because if you are fighting the voice, this means you are doubting what it says, complete proof that you actually KNOW deep down that you ARE GOOD ENOUGH!

Sometimes this truth can feel very deep down, hidden under layers and layers of negative thoughts and lack of confidence.  Sometimes it can feel impossible to battle the voice. 

I know those negative thoughts are so real.  They are not silly, or you’re not overreacting, those thoughts really do seem to take over don’t they?

Can I  just ask you to think, what does “good enough”  look like to you?

What would it take for you to stand in front of that mirror and be able to say “I am good enough”?

Is “good enough” based on other people’s expectations that you think they have? Do you presume that people expect you to be a certain way, and that is “good enough”? Or is “good enough” an actual goal you’ve given yourself?

If you’re thinking ‘I don’t know’ (what's this crazy lady going on about!) try and think about a time when you did something that was “good enough”?  How did you know it was good?  Remember what that feeling felt like, the facial expressions it gave you, the hope it left in your heart.  What have you done recently where this was present?  What does that tell you? 

The thing about “good enough” is it is different for every one of us.  What makes me good enough is different for you and it can change every single day and build over time. The only expectations that truly matter are the ones that matter to you!!! We can spend our whole lives trying to mould ourselves to be how we think people might want us to be, and this is so exhausting! Trying to second  guess how we should act, dress, talk means that we are constantly TRYING rather than just BEING.

I’m not saying it’s easy to turn off these thoughts, but seeing them as what they are, thoughts not facts or realities can really help! When these thoughts come, take a breath, and try to think about something else for a moment. Maybe say “I’m not good enough at that, YET” and think about how you would like to improve in that area. Then think about all of the things that you do well, the things in your life you are proud of. With everything that you are managing right now, all that you are working through, and all those things that you have achieved. 

Just the act of thinking these things is proof, YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH!

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈


by Fleur Dash 27 February 2025
Are you struggling to sleep? Find out why, and how you can find solutions to sleep being your friend again. 10 Top tips for glorious sleep. Bed, what a heavenly place! But really should only be entered when tired. It should be a no screens area, a sanctuary for us when we are ready to sleep or read. We shouldn’t hang out in bed watching programs or checking social media as “blue screens” really affect how our brains work, and do not make us feel restful and relaxed, but alert and active. Be reassured by having an alarm set if you need one, so you don’t need to check the time during the night. Having an air vent or window open, fresh air and a cooler temperature will improve your sleep quality. If your head starts to swirl with thoughts, jot them on a piece of paper, knowing you can deal with them tomorrow. I like to go to sleep after writing down tomorrows to-do list, what I have achieved today, and writing down anything I feel grateful for. This routine gets my head in a happy but empty place ready for oblivion. Give yourself between 6 and 9 hours to sleep, adults all need around this amount to function. Any more or less can really start to alter how we feel in our daily lives. It is also important to try and wake up at the same time every day. While it may seem like a good idea to try to catch up on sleep after a bad night, doing so on a regular basis can also disrupt your sleep routine. It is better to take small cat naps of 20 mins during the day, if your sleep is disturbed and you feel exhausted. If you wake in the night and can’t go back to sleep, get up, make a drink, read a book. Don’t lie there worrying about not sleeping. Insomnia can become quite obsessive. As we lie there panicking about missing sleep, we are adding to the problem and creating more stress. It is always better to distract your head with a different activity (that doesn’t have a screen) and allow ourselves to become sleepy again. We sleep in cycles during the night, experiencing rest sleep and dream (REM) sleep. Some of the sleep we have is deep, and some is more shallow. It isn’t a disaster if we wake up and go back to sleep as the quality of sleep is varied anyway. Dream sleep is important for our brains, as we use REM sleep to process the actions of our day. It is when we decide what has been important to store in our libraries, and what we can throw away. If we have too much going on in our lives we have too much to process in one night. Our brains feel overloaded and can wake us (usually around 4am for me!). This is a sign that we have too much stress in our lives, and need to find ways to reduce our anxieties. Our bodies can feel encouraged to sleep too much to empty our stress using dreams, but this will leave us feeling exhausted, and wanting to sleep even more. This is why it is important to stick to 7-9 hours of sleep a night. If your head is full of noise at bedtime, try listening to a calming meditation, or some tranquil sounds like rain or the ocean. Choosing what we think about is an important factor of how stressful our lives can become. Making a choice not to dwell on the thoughts that are still churning round is a great way to train our brains to be quieter. Choosing our thoughts is empowering and a deeply effective way of improving our mental well being.
by Fleur Dash 16 December 2024
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by Fleur Dash 26 August 2024
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