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Charge that love battery

Fleur Dash • 12 March 2024

Even the best couples can have tricky moments. Life can throw challenges, misunderstandings can occur, emotions might misalign - leaving even the most perfect relationships feeling unnurtured at times. We can get stuck in a rut, feel unheard, unappreciated and ultimately lonely in our own love stories.


It is so important to make time to cherish our partners, remember what it is we love about each other, and why they are our chosen person.This is why when my husband and I went on a trip, I decided it would be an even better experience for us both if we went with fully-charged love batteries!


We created this lovely affection workout to ensure our glow was turned up to maximum.This simple sweet-talking exercise is an amazing way of reconnecting, rekindling and allowing the love to shine through!


The idea is to take it in turns to think of something you really admire about the other person. It is important that these are compliments and reflections on THEM, not on how they make YOU feel. 

For example, “I love it when you make me a cup of tea in bed” is actually about YOU, whereas “you are so considerate” is about THEM.

Emphasising and accentuating another’s pleasing qualities makes it a deeper and more rewarding sentiment. It is so wonderful to search through memories that created that love connection, and recall them together as you examine what it is about your partner that you actually fell in love with, and even better to have your qualities noticed and reiterated.


The act of thinking about nice things to say about your loved ones pulls affection and tenderness into the forefront of your mind. This sparks oxytocin- THE LOVE CHEMICAL.


Listening to genuinely felt compliments about ourselves helps us to regain a positive perspective on our own personalities, allowing the flow of serotonin- THE HAPPINESS CHEMICAL.


When these glorious chemicals are cascading we feel AMAZING! Connected, celebrated and full of love.


Mission complete, your battery fully charged.


by Fleur Dash 16 December 2024
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by Fleur Dash 26 August 2024
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by Fleur Dash 18 June 2024
Smiling is not something we learn to do, it comes completely naturally as it is a behaviour passed down through our evolution. It is thought to have originated over 30 million years ago and was used by apes and monkeys as a way of showing potential predators they were harmless. The smile we know today is the universal sign of happiness. It is one of the first expressions made by babies innately. . The baby is usually rewarded for this smile with mirroring smiles, love and attention. The behaviour becomes reinforced with feelings of pleasure and safety. This is true of all babies regardless of culture and environment, as Paul Ekman (the world’s leading expert on facial expressions) discovered; smiling is a basic and biological uniform human expression. Charles Darwin, who in addition to theorising on evolution in The Origin of the Species , also developed the Facial Feedback Response Theory, which suggests that the act of smiling actually makes us feel better (rather than smiling being a result of feeling good). When our brains feel happy we produce neurotransmitters that make us feel good. Dopamine, serotonin and endorphins are released transmitting neural signals to your facial muscles to trigger a smile. The release of serotonin with a smile is nature's own anti-depressant. It helps give our mood a lift in the same way the prescribed medication works by increasing the level of serotonin in the brain. Smiling stimulates our brain's reward mechanisms in a way that even chocolate can’t match. British researchers found that one smile can provide the same level of brain stimulation as up to 2,000 chocolate bars and can be as stimulating as receiving up to £16,000. The smile can be thought of as an “anchor”, it is a feeling that has been anchored to a particular group of muscles that is triggered when we use them. I’m sure you have put a smile on your face to help you to enter a room or when meeting someone new. This is because you get the same benefits when you actually force yourself to smile as you do when you smile naturally, this feeling encourages us when we need a boost. We create anchors unconsciously all the time when we assign meaning to a particular sensation, such as when a song always reminds you of a certain memory or person. Anchors are a very useful tool I use with my clients as we can learn to connect other feelings to other triggers on the body. By thinking about a calm time using all of our senses, we create a strong emotional link to that feeling of calm . Doing this while squeezing our fingers or holding our wrists literally makes a physical connection to that emotion. Repeating this over and over makes a new neural path in the brain, thus making a new anchor. The brain can only focus on a handful of items of information at any time (around 7), so while it is concentrating and recalling calm , it is unable to connect with any other input such as stress or worry. This is a brilliant way to train the brain into being in your control, thinking of happy thoughts and letting go of everything else.
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