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Christmas tips to joy

Fleur Dash • 13 December 2023

Ah, Christmas! The season of joy, twinkling lights, and hearty laughter echoing through the chilly winter air. Or does the idea of Chrismas fill you with dread! This can be the most anxious time for so many of us!


Tips for surviving the Christmas period (Thanks to the Circle health group for putting it so well :)


1. Keep your expectations modest

Don't get hung up on what the Christmas holidays are supposed to be like and how you're supposed to feel.

If you're comparing your festivities to some perfect greeting card ideal, they'll always come up short. Don't worry about festive spirit and simply take every day as it comes.


2. Do something different

This year, does the prospect of the usual routine fill you with Christmas dread rather than joy?

If so, don't surrender to it. Try something different.

Have dinner at a restaurant on Christmas Day. Spend Boxing Day at the cinema or get your family to agree to donate the money to a charity instead of exchanging presents.


3. Lean on your support system

If you've been feeling stressed, anxious or depressed, you need a network of close friends and family to turn to when things get tough.

During Christmas, take time to get together with your support network regularly – or at least keep in touch by phone to keep yourself centred.


4. Don't assume the worst

Don't start the Christmas season anticipating disaster. If you try to take the festivities as they come and limit your expectations – both good and bad – you may enjoy them more.


5. Forget the unimportant stuff

Don't run yourself ragged just to live up to Christmas traditions.

So what if you don't get the lights on the roof this year? So what if you don't get the special Christmas mugs down from the loft?

Give yourself a break. Worrying about such trivial stuff will not add to your festive spirit


6. Volunteer

You may feel stressed and booked up already, but maybe consider taking time to help people who have less than you. Try volunteering at a soup kitchen or helping someone to do their shopping.

We always feel better when we have helped someone and made a difference, however small.

You really have more control than you think. If certain things are guaranteed to stress you out, avoid them


7. Avoid problems

Think about what people or situations trigger your stress and figure out ways to avoid them.

If seeing your uncle stresses you out, skip his New Year's party and just stop by for a quick hello on New Year's Day.

Instead of staying in your bleak, childhood bedroom at your stepfather's house, book into a nearby hotel.

You really have more control than you think.


8. Ask for help - but be specific

See if your spouse will dig out the decorations. Ask a family member to help you cook - or host the Christmas dinner itself. Invite a friend along on shopping trips.

People are often more willing to help out than you expect; they just need some guidance from you on what to do.


9. Don't worry about things beyond your control

OK, perhaps your uncle and your dad get into an argument at every Christmas dinner and it makes you miserable. What can you really do about it?

Remember your limits: you can't control them, but you can control your own reaction to the situation.


10. Make new family traditions

People often feel compelled to keep family Christmas traditions alive long past the point that anyone's actually enjoying them. Don't keep them going for their own sake.

Start a new tradition instead. Create one that's more meaningful to you personally.


11. Find positive ways to remember loved ones

Christmas may remind you of the loved ones who aren't around anymore. Instead of just feeling glum, do something active to celebrate their memory.

For instance, go out with your sisters to your mum's favourite restaurant and make a toast.


The festive season can last for weeks and weeks. People really need to pace themselves or they'll get overwhelmed. Don't say yes to every invitation. 


by Fleur Dash 16 December 2024
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by Fleur Dash 26 August 2024
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by Fleur Dash 18 June 2024
Smiling is not something we learn to do, it comes completely naturally as it is a behaviour passed down through our evolution. It is thought to have originated over 30 million years ago and was used by apes and monkeys as a way of showing potential predators they were harmless. The smile we know today is the universal sign of happiness. It is one of the first expressions made by babies innately. . The baby is usually rewarded for this smile with mirroring smiles, love and attention. The behaviour becomes reinforced with feelings of pleasure and safety. This is true of all babies regardless of culture and environment, as Paul Ekman (the world’s leading expert on facial expressions) discovered; smiling is a basic and biological uniform human expression. Charles Darwin, who in addition to theorising on evolution in The Origin of the Species , also developed the Facial Feedback Response Theory, which suggests that the act of smiling actually makes us feel better (rather than smiling being a result of feeling good). When our brains feel happy we produce neurotransmitters that make us feel good. Dopamine, serotonin and endorphins are released transmitting neural signals to your facial muscles to trigger a smile. The release of serotonin with a smile is nature's own anti-depressant. It helps give our mood a lift in the same way the prescribed medication works by increasing the level of serotonin in the brain. Smiling stimulates our brain's reward mechanisms in a way that even chocolate can’t match. British researchers found that one smile can provide the same level of brain stimulation as up to 2,000 chocolate bars and can be as stimulating as receiving up to £16,000. The smile can be thought of as an “anchor”, it is a feeling that has been anchored to a particular group of muscles that is triggered when we use them. I’m sure you have put a smile on your face to help you to enter a room or when meeting someone new. This is because you get the same benefits when you actually force yourself to smile as you do when you smile naturally, this feeling encourages us when we need a boost. We create anchors unconsciously all the time when we assign meaning to a particular sensation, such as when a song always reminds you of a certain memory or person. Anchors are a very useful tool I use with my clients as we can learn to connect other feelings to other triggers on the body. By thinking about a calm time using all of our senses, we create a strong emotional link to that feeling of calm . Doing this while squeezing our fingers or holding our wrists literally makes a physical connection to that emotion. Repeating this over and over makes a new neural path in the brain, thus making a new anchor. The brain can only focus on a handful of items of information at any time (around 7), so while it is concentrating and recalling calm , it is unable to connect with any other input such as stress or worry. This is a brilliant way to train the brain into being in your control, thinking of happy thoughts and letting go of everything else.
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